Today felt like one long funeral. I was morning the death of a kid that got stabed yesturday ( I saw this on the news. he lived somewhere in ontario ) I think this is such a tragic loss of life!! its a waist! I hate the fact that i know there is a family that is crying because they will never get to see there 15 or 16 year old sun in the morning, because of another 16 year olds bad life or attatude! It makes me mad! and i wish there was more awareness about school violence. The kid was stabed infront of his entire school, as they all waited for there busses. And on the news they showed the bloody snow! that hurt me.. That hit me personaly. I hate blood. and to know that that that blood was worm and flowing in some kids body, Angers me so much!!!! So my day was pretty regual, exept the topic of death was all that was going on.. During lunch we talked about what would happen if we saw someone getting stabed.. and i got mad at my best friend, because she has morals. Im such an ass sometimes. Im realizing that im ganna fail my math class if i don`t start paying attention. ive been sleeping everyday of that class. but we might be moving to a comptuer room.. and i love computers so that can`t be bad!! And the i was angry again in my second period class... Like yesturday, that teacher hates me now.. and im getting all dramaish... Got.. i can be evil somtimes.. So in co-op class we talked about people dying at the work place. So it was a down day. And the the walk home.. There was like no sounds.. it was just a dead walk.. creepy *shivers* And well i have tommarow off.. later.. Oh and my friend (Best) cryed in Class.. made me very sad.. I hate medication, it eats away at ppl!

merd....
I just typed up a hole entry, but i clicked something, and i lost it all! so it sucks! Im in co-op, and its kinda slow. did a resuame and refurance letter. I was really busy last weeek, but thankfull im not so much anymore. And i have half of the minimal amount of money that i need by July. YAY! So im thinking i might have atleast the minimum. Thats taking a little less stress off, but im still scared that i won't get accepted in Ottawa for the program i chose! Oh, speaking of that, They never e-mailed me back.. ill try calling tommarow. But anyway. Tanya has the same schedual as me this week, so i won't be lonely at work!:) yay!!! My mom is acting pretty weird. They were yelling at me that i don;t work.. and that i don't know what work is.. but yet.. i work almost all day!! im not mad, i just don't really understand. Meh, its prolly just a bad few days for them. Ive started to allow more house calls.. and ive actualy set a Base price of how much im worth per hour.. 10$. If only i got that much at A&P. Ive started to think about a possible business to open, but im moving in a few months. and by time im all set up... ill be packing to move.. so thats making me very hesitent. Thats all for now, i guess! take it easy ppl.

Day off..???
Yeah wow what a day off.. but anyway after doing a bucnch of stuff. i didn't do anything relaxing. but im not going to school tommarow morning, so ill have a kind of break! so Thats all tahts new.. other then my major stressingness about lack of money!:( i hate being poor. There is no way im ganna get even the minimum payments buy july:(

so yeah.
I was at this site! and i was looking at computer stuff. and there is some really nice things you can get for your computer. Im thinking im ganna buy a new cover, cuz i don't like mine.. lol But anyway, That makes me sad. cuz i have no money! so anyway School is still really slow, its so depressing to know that my last semester is ganna be spend in math classes, and at a bank.. not really much with my friends. Also its like, im feeling like im doing the wrong thing buy going away to college in Ottawa, and that maybe i should stay here, its all cold feet and confusion i know it! anyway im ganna go.. im dead tired.. and i stil have a full day tommaorw.. at least ill get thurday off! AHH i need to get this monitor fixed!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO yeah what a freaken day! im ganna sware allot.. cuz because this was a fucked up day! FIRST OF ALL! EWWWW back to school after a week of! THEN all my classes SUCK!! HARD CORE!!! GRRR Math, its a weird old man.. that is flamy.. but nice. but talks way to much about nothing. then its Mr. Robertson, but i switched that to .. u guested it! MATH! AGANI! and then CO-OP! AT A FREAKEN BANK!!! GRR stupid math! anyway! yeah ! so my co-op class is 3 weeks in class and that suckes its soo boring! and then i work ALL WEEK!! but thursday! i still ahve to teach. but at least i get thursday day off! and i did inventory on the weekend at a local store! can we all say it together! W>T>F!! but it made a little cash! i should be making a little extra cash, that i need for college and my up coming trip to ottawa, that i feel im ganna get ditched on by my friend tanya.. ! OH and i found my wallet i lost a while back.. the one i had almost replaced all my cards of! That was a bitch! and some screws that i was looking for since chrismas.. but i had lost my wallet way before chirsmas! ANYWAY just to say i found lots of shit.. that was cool! anyway bye!

finaly!
I got ahold of that place for my college applications! WOW! and they made on of my changes for me! so thats good. ill have to look into anymore changes tommarow and over the weekend.. and yeah! AT Work! holay piss me off i heard that my boss was trashing me! GRRR!! he was trying to get me fired for not working and not being willing to learn! SCREW him im supposed to get paid to learn! its called training! and i only got 4 out of 24 hours of it! What a bitch! Totaly pissed me off. Well tanya respects my work! Im not getting fired, im unionized and withought good reason, he can't! HA But anyway yeah, im tired. what a day! lol All in all it was a very good DAY!:D

Lazzy!
Lately ive just been lazy, ive been meaning to come on here and type, but to tired. So yeah I talked to my friends mom and her mom gave me the impression that My friend was allowed to come to ottawa with me! YEHA! So yeah, my truck is broke*cry's* the radiator froze and it broke! so sad!!! I wanna go skidooing! anyway thats besides the point. I have an exam tommarow! And I rather not write it.. but ill have to. SOOOO yeah! woops! my site is growing.. I had to say something... ... (thinking thinking) wait for it wait for it... me forget it.. lol I forgot. Im still tired as all hell. Maybe im sick.. I dunno, I hope not! OH! im ganna go eat! and see if maybe there is something on TV!!

Sleep???
I wrote my math exam.. it was okay i guess im figuring i got about 90% or maybe a little less, If i got a 90+ on my independent study then my mark will stay the same! im hopping! so yeah I had a long day today.. school in the morning exam in the after noon, work,, then my best came over to study for philosophy tommarow, but we kept falling asleep and laughing.. *could the school be drugging us* But anyway i got some stuff done. im ganna fail.. and if i do. i don't graduate. *so sad* maybe the stress is making me sleepy, GOD i can't wait for monday afternoon! i will be done for the week! I think some people are mad at me.. cuz they don't talk to me anymore, they could be busy but i dunno its that impression i get! So anyway im fucken tired, and im ganna go to bed. cuz u can't write an exam if ur sleep! haha

its raining stress!
WOw, so i got to class late again.. math.. yeah.. im always late.. the worst part is i have that teach next semest for math again.. so she is really ganna hate my lateness! I learned that i can re apply for some college courseas! WOW! im looking foward to that! im ganna apply for the same program at diff school.. to make sure i get in somewhere good! talked to one of my x's today. told me a sad turn of events in his life, kinda bumbed me out its like 5 am i can't sleep worth a shit! so this is really for like yesturday the 20th.. but its prolly ganna show as the 21st ANYWAY! i have to work.. today the 21st.. totaly shitty, im kinda feeling depressed and I rather just sleep this week, i can't wait to finish all my exams.. so i can ride myself of all these classes! OH at school i get a 4++ on my poetry stuff.. and my teacher is taking copies of all my poems to show the class.. so im ganna be adding my poems to my site soon, well some of them! there are 10 so anyway! That was cool! and i have this presentation to do.. GOD! i didn't do this 60 second comercial i was supposed to do.. and its soo ganna bring down my makr! shitteRS! ill think of something i hope! *note to self: ask mom for tape recorder* Anyway i did a little site work again.. i tryed to figure some stuff out, but at 2am i was still kidna drunk cuz i was taking shots at 9pm of vodka and yeah. i know its sad.. but i needed to go into my own world! it work.. cuz im feeling a little better, i got my x's shit of my mind.. now im thinking more about myself! Thats enough for now! I can't wait till the freaken morning 2 hours to go! i just want a darm Morning bagel! haha, bye for now!

suuuurrrrreee....
So my day started off late, as i woke up at 8:45, but i made it to class only a few minutes late as the special bus was running late to and they gave me a ride cuz i know the bus driver personal. So with all that said and done.. My philosophy test that i didn't study for went better then i would have thought.. i think there is actualy possiblity that i passed it. WOW! at the end of lunch i decided to write out my oral presentation for english class that was due like withing 30 minutes of when i finished writing it. And Woah! yeah i got an 86% on it! i rule... one more presentation and 3 exams.. and im done for the first semester of my last year in highschool!!! Work was cool, but GOD my parents were late picking me up.. and i was walking home in the cold.. that was sad and sucky.. cuz i was all wet because of work!